NEW PLAY - The Tomorrow People - War of the Slarvians

Mark Wright and I have worked together on another audio play, our first since 'Doctor Who - Project: Lazarus' in 2003. War of the Slarvians is the third play in Big Finish's sixth Tomorrow People series. It's released this October.

It features the giant space snails we created together and who first slimed onto the scene in Mark's The Slarvian Menace.

There's not much info I can offer at the moment, but as the teaser blurb says "A Slarvian spaceship crashlands on Earth; the Slarvians are at war and they're begging for help."

All I can say is that this won't be the only appearance of the Slarvian's this year!

This is me... apparently... Bwa ha ha haaaaa

You Are 54% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

How Evil Are You?

Thoughts on the gym

While killing myself on the cross-trainer today I considered what my gym does to encourage its members. First is the fact that you can hire out DVDs for free if you keep coming back. Brilliant, although it has worried me that I joined for the chance of seeing The Whole Nine Yards than worrying about my abs.

Then there's the dance music pumped around the gym. This, is suppose is to provide an up-tempo beat to train along to. I guess that training to Morrissey wouldn't be so inspiring. However, I suspect that the music has more to do with the fact that in the part of the gym mainly used by men, they show the video to the song on large screens. Today, every video featured slim, young girls in various states of not wearing many clothes at all gyrating to their song. 'Perhaps this has more to do with it. Gym member,' these young sirens are saying, 'if you push that treadmill up to 13 and work a little harder you will be fit enough to come and talk to girls like me.'
Trouble is, after an hour in the gym I'm a wreck and even if I wanted to meet those who The Field magazine would call fine young fillies (and if my wife's reading this I'm not so please don't break my legs when I get home with a spatula), I'm a wheezing, puffing cripple and therefore slightly more alluring than a three-thousand-year mummified cadaver.

I suppose the last encouragement is that the people who staff the gym all look like their in the peak of condition and no-doubt are. One of the guys I have been told can crack a walnut using his bicep although I have no idea how you do such a thing. I think I would have trouble squashing a grape. You are greeting by an exceptionally friendly but somehow intimidating row of shiny teeth and well-defined chests on reception. I guess this should have me leaping up the stairs to the changing room thinking 'that could be me', but instead it makes me suck my gut in a little more and secretly wonder if my torture on the leg-press is actually working.

Therefore I think that all gyms should have at least one receptionist that looks like Johnny Vegas. If you were greeting by Johnny holding a pint in one hand and a kebab in the other you would immediately feel better about yourself and, in an improved state of mind, work harder on the equipment.



I cannot believe no-one's worked this out before...