The CavBlog

Monday, October 31, 2005

A little Halloween tale: The Proof


Launching mags has kept me nice and busy over the last few weeks - hence the lack of posts - but I thought I'd drop by and leave a little Halloween tale.

Hope you enjoy and remember, don't have nightmares...




The Proof
By Cavan Scott


Jackie winced as the spittle splashed against her face. Alan had worked himself into such a lather. She had never seen him like this, not even in the darkest times. His eyes were stretched so wide that a more imaginative mind would have ventured that tiny, invisible clamps had drawn back his lids. But Jackie didn’t have the time, or the inclination, to be imaginative. She was more concerned in controlling her bladder. After all, she’d never been tied up at knifepoint before. Or was that screwdriver-point. Either way the correct terminology was academic. Blade or household-tool, Jackie knew that in his present state of mind – or lack of it for that matter – Alan could inflict catastrophic damage with whatever he laid his hands on.
“And you all said I was being paranoid,” Alan screeched, waving the screwdriver perilously close to Jackie’s face. “You all wanted me carted off to the funny farm didn’t you?”
“No, Alan. It wasn’t like that.” Jackie whimpered in reply, “You have to believe me…”
“I don’t have to do anything you say anymore you little bitch,” the lunatic snapped, a fresh glob of saliva swinging from his stubble-flecked chin. “I used to do what you told me to. Oh yes. Always listen to big sister. Always follow her lead. She just wants the best for you, that’s what Mummy used to say.”
“We just wanted…”
“You just wanted to throw me into a god-forsaken hole and forget about me.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?” Alan’s voice cracked with rage. “So Father didn’t sign the form that gave them permission to marinate my brain in mind-altering drugs? Is that what you’re telling me?”
Jackie’s head fell forward, tears stinging her eyes. Amazing. She really thought she’d sobbed herself dry this evening. No more tears left. Just cold, paralysing fear. There wasn’t even any point arguing with him anymore. Not when he was in this state. Her only hope was that someone would hear his shrieking. But could she really expect a Good Samaritan in this day and age. It was more likely that they would walk by on the other side, thanking their lucky stars that their life didn’t involve a raving maniac. Well lucky old them. If she survived this she would make sure she did they same when they were the ones strapped to a dining-room chair with spark-leads. They’d be the ones with a busted lip and a swollen eye and she’d be skipping down the road safe in her apathy. If she survived.
But she didn’t hold out much hope. Tonight she would die at the hands of her brother. And tomorrow they would take him away and throw him in the dark abyss he feared so much. And there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing at all.

There was nothing she could do about it. Nothing at all. Alan giggled, wiping his wet lips with the back of his hand. He could taste the metallic hint of her dried blood on his skin. Did she have any idea how pathetic she looked, weeping tears for her miserable life, trust up on that chair like that? Well, she wouldn’t be in this mess if she’d wept tears for him? She wouldn’t be here at all if she had stood up to father, if she had believed him.

But tonight Alan would have his proof and she would be his witness. Oh, he knew his sister believed he would kill her at any second, but she’d also believed he was insane. Now she would know how wrong they’d all been about him. Parents. Doctors. Social Workers. Telling him he was delusional. Telling him that the devils weren’t out there. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The devils were everywhere, and tonight he would prove both their existence and the fact that all his screws were in tightened and in place, thank you very much. Not long now.

Not long now, Jackie thought. He’d strike any minute. It was amazing how calm she felt, despite the tears. Perhaps she’d merely accepted the inevitable. If anything she wondered where he’d do it. Her chest? Her head? How long would it be before the blackness overwhelmed her? How long did it take to die when you’re being stabbed by a screwdriver? Please Lord let it be quick. If this was the end she didn’t want it to be drawn out, didn’t want it to be too painful. And to think she’d only popped in this afternoon to see if he had enough milk. Who would have guessed that a pint of semi-skimmed would see her killed by her brother’s hand?
They should never have let him out. Care in the community? What care? A pat on the head and a stern reminder to take your special pills. Yeah, like that worked. They thought he was doing so well, and now look at him, wide-eyed and seeing them everywhere. The pills that were supposed to keep the demons at bay were probably at the bottom of the sink. They should never have trusted him to take them by himself. She had argued with Father saying that he wasn’t ready, but the stubborn old goat had rejected the idea with his usual bluster. “Nonsense. Give the boy some responsibility and get him out in the real world, away from the nuthouse. If we leave him there he’ll become institutionalised and then where will we be?”
Then when will we be? That’s what it boiled down to. A son locked safely away in a psychiatric ward was an embarrassment. A son back in society proving he could claw his way back was a credit to the family. So the lad thinks that the populace of hell is conspiring with the government to take over the world. A few pills will sort him out, plus a little discipline. Soon have him back to normal.
Well Dad, here’s a news flash. A few pills and a little discipline will have you burying your daughter at this rate. How’s that for the name of the family eh? And she would never be able to say ‘I told you so’.

“This will be my chance to tell them I told them so,” Alan bellowed, arching his arms wide as if to receive rapturous applause from an unseen audience. Jackie wasn’t listening anymore. She was just sitting there in her chair, pissing herself. His wonderful, oh-so-perfect sister with her wonderful, oh-so-perfect husband in their wonderful, oh-so-perfect flat was soiling herself there in front of him. It didn’t matter. She’d never listened to him before. He’d tried to warn her. Oh yeah, he tried all right. They were flesh and blood. He didn’t want to see her devoured by the hell-spawn.
But would she sit up and take notice from her tidy, little suburban life? Hell, no. They said he was bonkers and threw him to bedlam. Thank heavens he’d been able to talk them into letting him out, convincing them that he was ‘healed’. What good could he do strapped to a bed when they were out there? No one else could see them coming, scraping across the walls with their infernal fingers, ready to pounce. But he’d got out just in time, because tonight was the night when they were about to show their demonic hand. Oh yes, old Scratch was making his move with his own brood of weapons of mass destruction but he could be silenced by just one scrap of proof. That’s all Alan needed.
“The key to His plans is our ignorance,” Alan explained, waving the screwdriver to emphasis his point. “You see, while we deny His existence He can run riot. That’s the problem Jackie. People just don’t believe in the Devil any more. And if folk do believe, do you know what they do to them? The doctors and therapists?”
Alan glared at his sister, expecting a reply. When none came, he drew back his arm and swung a devastating back-hander across her face. The chair flew back under the force of the blow and screaming, Jackie crashed to the floor. A yellowing tooth landed in the pool of her blood with a plop.
“Do you know what they do to them?” he yelled, now inches away from her rapidly bruising cheek. Jackie whimpered that she didn’t. “They say they’re nutbars and force them to ingest drugs that make them forgot everything. To toe the company line. And so He wins another battle. Well, not tonight. Tonight everything changes.”
Alan sprung up and spun towards the door, his eyes aflame. “And shall I tell you why Jackie? Tonight everything changes because I’ve seen them on the street. They’re everywhere.”

‘They’re everywhere’. Jackie had forgotten how many times she’d heard her loon of a brother claim that Satan’s little helpers were swarming up from the sewers of hell and sweeping through our shadows. Yet, this was more. She could tell from the dead look in his eyes that he’d finally snapped. There was no going back from this. For either of them.
Through the red haze that danced before her eyes Jackie strained to look up. Alan was standing with his back to her, his entire body tensed like a cat ready to pounce. He really did believe the demons were on their way. What would he do when they didn’t show up? Perhaps that was her role in all this. Dear god, was she a sacrifice to entice Alan’s phantom devils? The tears began to flow again, mixing with blood from her ruined nose and lips. What had she done to deserve this?
For a moment all was quiet in the house, the drama paused to the soft sound of her sobs and her brother’s ragged breathing. And then Jackie heard footsteps through the thick, wooden door. Someone was coming.

Something was coming. Alan’s mouth had gone dry, hairs standing to attention all down his spine. This was it. He’d sent one of his agents to silence Alan once and for all.
But Alan was ready. He’d outsmarted the Prince of Lies. He’d spotted His foul servants in the streets this morning, running here and there as if they owned the place. Laughing. Playing. And now they’d been sent to finish him off. Well, sorry Nick old thing, the best laid plans of mice and fallen angels eh? The trap was set and Alan would finally get the proof he’d longed for all his life.
Feet scuffed along the path, crunching through the decaying blanket of autumn leaves. The arrogance of the creatures, not even bothering to mask their arrival. So confident that they would get what they came for. Oh, they would get something all right.

Alan’s ears pricked. He couldn’t even hear the whimpering of his sister anymore. No, now he was completely focused on the sounds from the other side of the door. How many of them were there? Two? Three? No-matter. He only needed one. They were almost upon him, ready to strike. His hand came up, the screwdriver glinting in the glow from the porch bulb. In his mind’s eye he saw them halt, evil, piggy eyes darting left to right as the leader of the pack reached for the door.
Time to meet the enemy.
With a flourish Alan leapt forward and violently yanked the door open. For a moment his blood froze in his veins at the very sight of them, exactly how he’d always seen them. Skeletal dwarfs, covered head to toe in the blood of the innocent, forks held aloft in their scrawny, cursed hands. Devils on the doorstep.
All at once the creatures released a banshee wail that could burst a man’s eardrums but Alan wasn’t going to be scared off. Not when he’d come this far. Not when he had his proof at last. With a frantic cry of triumph he flung himself on the disgusting form of the first demon, feeling its brittle bones crack beneath his weight. Its companions turned and fled yelping like wounded dogs but Alan held on as the slippery horror twisted in his grip. Alan was stronger. Alan had right on his side.
The screwdriver slashed through the air as Jackie screamed at him to stop. What was the matter with her? Couldn’t she see that this was the evidence they needed? Or was she one of them too? Had his own sister been a spy in the midst, a changeling left by the Lucifer Himself?
Claws raked at his forearm and yet he continued his attack, striking again and again. A fountain of black ooze erupted from the wound in the thing’s neck, splattering its vile mess over Alan’s face, unholy cries cutting through the oppressive air. With a final grunt of exertion Alan rammed the screwdriver into the ragged gash, feeling inhuman flesh pop as it sunk into the gore to its hilt.
The creature lay still.
Tears cut paths through the muck on Alan’s face. It was over. He had his prize. Surely, they had to listen now.
Rocking softly back and forth, Alan hugged the vanquished demon as if it was a gift from on high, licking its foul blood from his own lips. From behind him he could hear the running footsteps and shouts coming from the street. They were coming now. They would see for themselves.

They were coming now. They would see for themselves. And they would release her from her bonds, of that Jackie had no doubt. Any other day she would have been worrying about her appearance but not now. She couldn’t even twist a hand free to wipe away the string of vomit from her mouth but she didn’t care. Not now she saw what her brother was hugging in the doorway. It was over. He had his prize.
A passer-by was the first to arrive, clasping a hand over his ashen face as he took in the scene. Then the police came. They were yanking Alan away from the butchered form that tumbled from his arms, warning him to shut it as he babbled how he had slain the demon. As he finally released his grip, the corpse hit the floor with a sickening, wet slap and for a second Jackie was staring directly into the sightless eyes of the child. His blood had soaked through his costume and the sweets he had collected from Alan’s neighbours rolled across the grime of the carpet, collecting by his fallen, plastic devil’s fork. As her eyes rolled up into their sockets and the world began to fade away, the sound of Alan’s high-pitched shouts of joy broke through the ever-darkening gloom.
“Did you hear what it said to me Jackie, before I ripped out its throat?” The room faded to black. “Trick or treat Jackie. That’s what it said. Trick or treat!”


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Sunday, October 23, 2005

That Dalek Emperor is a nasty bit of work...

So we discover at the end of the latest series of Doctor Who that the Dalek Emperor has been kidnapping game-show contestants and mutating them into Daleks. Pretty nasty until you discover just what he's been up to since the Doctor and Rose finished off the Dalek army.

Prepare yourself for a shock, because due to evidence recently found at Ebay the Emperor's only gone and abducted the Robinson Jam Golly to spawn a new breed of pepperpot nasties. They've been telling us for years that racially stereotypical anachronisms like the Golly are dangerous but up to now I've never believed them!

Is no-one safe?


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Sunday, October 16, 2005

Ronnie Barker appeared in my Pancake...

What a very odd morning this is turning out to be. The story of the Pope appearing in a pancake made me a little peckish this morning so I set off to make my own pancakes. Little was I to know the amazing phenomenon that was to happen in my own kitchen.

I flipped my pancake (is that a euphemism?) and sat down with a bottle of Jif lemon juice and was just about to show down when - GASP! - I couldn't believe what I my eyes were seeing. There, in my tasty treat a face was staring out of me. Ronnie Barker had appeared in my pancake!!!

If you don't believe me here is the photographic proof.



Amazing isn't it. I don't know what this means? Is the dearly-departed Ronnie trying to get a message through to the world through my frying pan? Who knows. Of course, I should have saved this miracle for the sake or mankind or at least to sell for a fortune on Ebay but the shock made me very hungry and I was now out of eggs so I ate Ronnie with lashings of Raspberry jam...

Looking back, that probably wasn't the most intelligent course of action...


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Facts to amaze your friends with

According to the 2006 Guinness Book of Records the longest nipple hair on planet earth belongs to American Tyler Ing. Presiding over his right nipple the amazing hair is 8.89 centimetres (or 3.5 inches in real money) long.

Amazing, but true.


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Friday, October 14, 2005

What a mistake-a to make-a


Yesterday's Guardian quick crossword had a the clue 'Doctor Who Robot (5 letters). I wonder how many emails the Guardian's received over the last 24 hours pointing out that a Dalek isn't a robot at all. I know I had to staple my hands to the work canteen wall to stop myself typing a missive.

I don't know if they realise what powers they're playing with.


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Tuesday, October 11, 2005

The patter of tiny feet...

In a break from the normal wibblings about Frankenstein, zombies, Daleks and ghosts I have some happy news to announce...

Clare are myself are expecting our first baby, due next May. We're very excited to say the least.

Just told my team at work and they've already been suggesting names. My favourite so far is Dalek 1, Dalek 2 or Dalek 3 which sounds a practical choice.

Karl has also pointed out that I obviously have a very 'potent sonic screwdriver'. I've never called it that before, honest...


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Monday, October 10, 2005

Curse of the Furry Things

Commiserations for all at Aardman Animation who today lost their warehouse in a massive fire here in Bristol. A load of their history completely up in smoke.

Is this part of a more sinister act however. According to Ireland Online posters for the new Wallice and Gromit movie, The Curse of the Were-Rabbit were banned on the Isle of Portland, just off the west coast of England. Why? Because of a 100 year old superstition that means that Islanders will not even say the word 'rabbit'.

It all stems from land slips caused by rabbit burrows over a century ago that in turn convinced them that bunnies bring bad luck. Like actors refusing to name the Scottish Play by name, they refer to rabbits as the 'underground mutton' or the 'furry things'.

Aardman tweaked the posters so the offending word was removed. But was it too late? Has the real curse of the rabbit come back to haunt the animation company.

As Mayor Of Portland said: "There is certainly a feeling against the word rabbit, especially from the older residents. It is a local superstition, but like any superstition, people take it seriously."

Perhaps the deadly rabbits do too. I mean, are we really sure that bunnies can't use matches?

Are we?


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Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Snog of Zorro

Popped along to the Legend of Zorro press-screening on Friday.

Quite an enjoyable old fashioned romp to be told. I still like Campbell as a director and hope he can save Casino Royale and Bond from whatever fresh hell they are dragging it into.

However, one thing did marr my enjoyment of an otherwise interesting diversion;

Everytime Banderas and Zeta-Jones snogged it looked like they were trying to eat each other's face. At some points I thought I was still watching Land of the Dead. Haven't these two heard that passion doesn't neccessarily mean you have to cram as much as possible of your partner's fizzog into your own gob?

The last time I kissed like that I was 15 and made Tracy Buntin choke down at youth club. She dumped me soon after.

Perhaps I would have gotten away with it if I had been wearing a mask!


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Vacutex them...

Working through my copy of X-Men issue 40 for my series of Frankenstein reviews and I found this doozy of an ad. Would you trust the Vacutex on your blackheads even with the promise that you will 'look attractive instantly'? And if you're that repellent where do you find a saucy minx like that who will be so obviously delighted to lift out your 'ugly blackheads safely'? If only I lives in 1967 or had managed to invent my own time-ship I would be able to answer these questions. Shame.


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Thursday, October 06, 2005

Planet of the Pigeons

Now, this is actually quite a disturbing image. A world ruled by Pigeons in a Planet of the Apes-stylee. Peristerophobiacs beware...


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Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Pointless Monkey Brains Piccy...


I dread to think what story this was supposed to be illustrating. What foul deed needed the brains of a rancid monkey-man? What new horror was being created in the Doctor's lab? Or was it just that they were out of tripe? We may never knows but try not to stare at this too much as it's likely to cause a few nightmares...


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Gatiss vs. Batman

I knew there was a reason why I'm a fan of Mark Gatiss. It's not just because he's annoyingly talented and witty. This is what he has to say of Batman Begins in the latest Arena...

"I never walk out of films but this is the closest I've ever come. I hated it from the very first minute. It's so boring and pretentious. I know the Joel Schumacher films were rubbished, but this one is just appalling. In fact, Cillian Murphy as The Scarecrow is the film's saving grace."


Ha-ha! See, it's not just me against the world. Someone else didn't like it! Together we can take on the world. Bwa-ha-haaaa.

I was already looking forward to seeing Mark in the League of Gentlemen movie tonight but now I will watch it with an improved opinion of the chap.


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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The Nazi Frankenstein

We take an early break away from the Monster of Frankenstein to look at another version of the creature from the house of Marvel…


The Invaders

Issue 31

August 1978

Story title: Heil Frankenstein!

Dastardly Plot
Prepare yourself for this one. It is the second world war and the original Human Torch and Toro have flown off to investigate rumoured Nazi activity in the Swiss Alps. When they don’t return Captain America, Bucky and Prince Namor follow them into a nightmare. For in a remote and sinister castle, Basil Frankenstein, a descendant of dear old Victor has been up to the usual family business and has created a new abomination, the first of a new breed who will win the war for the Third Reich. Can Cap defeat the mindless monster and why does Basil need the Human Torch?



Vicious Verdict
It’s switch your brain off at the door time. To say this is a clichéd tale is like saying that Oliver Reed used to enjoy a little sherry at Christmas.
It’s all here, a crippled scientist, spooky castle and rampaging peasants (complete with burning torches). There’s even almost a brain-transplant. The idea of the monster forced to work for the Nazi is also quite an appealing idea. So good so far... But wait a grave-robbing minute – the Doctor needs the Human Torch’s android body so he can drain off his energy to cause the monster to grow because he can’t work out how to make his monster as tall as Victor’s? Why not use bigger bodies Basil old boy?
Complete nonsense from beginning to end and hardly essential reading when it comes to Marvel’s ongoing incarnation of the monster (although ol’ green, tall and gruesome does get a small cameo). But saying that, it’s just such corny, campy, unadulterated fun!

Favourite Frame
An army of Frankenstein’s nazi monsters rampaging through the trenches. Now that would make a scary movie…

Fashion Disaster
Any kind of Nazi uniform is pretty bad form (unless you’re Prince Harry or Paris Hilton of course), but you have to be impressed with Basil’s dashing dressing gown and scarf combo. Evil and insane he may be, but you’ve got to admit he’s a bit swank.



Favourite Line
“His collision with those machines must have short-circuited his brain control implant! His mind is his own!” – Kitty

Terrifying Trivia
Ever worried you wouldn't know what to say if you’re freed from an airless prison? Well, according to the Human Torch the phrase you’re looking for is “Good Gravy!” Personally I would have gone for a “Thank **** for that” but I’m not 1940’s super-hero am I!



Maddest Small-ad
The Monster's old pal Dracula is on hand to flog a tasty meat stick. If you listen really carefully you can hear the sound of spinning from Mr Stoker's grave!

Final Rating
1 electrode out of 5 (for quality) 3 electrodes out of 5 (for effort)


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Monday, October 03, 2005

It's just a bit of 'armless fun...


Bubblegumfink has a link to the oddist comic book I've seen. Dating back from 1975 it proves that somewhere there's a comic for everyone - even acrotomophiliacs!


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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Ventriloquist Dolls from Hell


We all know Ventriloquist dolls are immensely creepy* but combine it with Frankenstein and what you get is the stuff that gives you nightmares for the rest of your life. How could any parent in the 60's give this to their kids - imagine trying to go to sleep knowing that its there, waiting for you in the closet...

Brrrrr.

*(We do know that don't we? It's not just me that is given the willies by their stupid little, child-like wooden heads, lolling mouths and languid stares. Other people suffer from this don't they? Don't they?)


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Afterlife episode two

So last night's episode of Afterlife ramped up the horror then and also brought the spirits into the realm of ghosts who can affect the physical world, which I must admit I wasn't expecting.

While it was effective I couldn't help but feel that the resolution was a little bit of a cop-out. Yes, it was good to see the bad-guy get his just deserts, but surely there could have been a clever way of bringing him to justice when you thought all was lost, using something from the visions to bring about cold, sold evidence. Oh you can scare him silly as well, it was just the way it wrapped up seemed a little lazy.

Good to see so much of Bristol though of course...


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Marvel's Frankenstein - The Monster of Frankenstein issue two

And continuing the frankenmarathon...


The Monster of Frankenstein

Issue Two

March 1973

Story title: Bride of the Monster!

Dastardly Plot
It’s all kicking off. The Monster’s thawed out, there’s a fire in the hold and back in the origin story we learn about the creature’s murderous rampage and the birth of his bride.

Vicious Verdict
Now this is getting more like it.
You have to wonder if the writer likes God’s little creatures with the poor old monster attacked by a not-so-gentle Ben, a wolf and a pack of dogs, all of which are soon sent to animal heaven (or hell). I wonder what the RSPCA would say about it all?
But such four-legged frolics do up the horror-ante, pumping some much-needed action into the adaptation. The so-so debut has been transformed into wonderful melodrama complete with fire, ice, death and, of course, the bride.
One note of confusion though – The title page says ‘Four decades have passed since the Brute’s blasphemous creation... and now, having been encased in ice for nearly a century, once more the monster walks!’ Eh? Am I being a bit thick? It’s been 40 years since he was created and he’s been trapped in ice for nearly 100 years. So we can add time-travel to his monstrous talents then.

Favourite Frame
She’s slinky, she’s slimy and she looks like she stinks. The Bride is born. A glamorous Elsa Lancaster type she ain’t (although she does show more cleavage!) Such a cool, horror image and a shame that she only lasts a couple of pages.



Fashion Disaster
Not so much of a disaster but you have to be impressed by the bride’s slinky little dress. Good to see that Frankenstein respects a lady’s honour… even if she’s a re-animated corpse.

Favourite Line
“I almost enjoyed the crackling sound of their broken bones as I mangled them with my bare hands… all the while wishing each broken neck… each eerie wail of death… was yours, Victor Frankenstein.’ – The Monster

Final Rating
3 electrodes out of 5. The horror’s building...


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Saturday, October 01, 2005

Marvel's Frankenstein - The Monster of Frankenstein issue one

In tribute of Groovy Age of Horror's Frankenmonth the Cavblog begins an issue-by-issue blow-by-blow account of Marvel Comic's own version(s) of Mary Shelley's Monster taking in Spidey, the Avengers, Namor and the X-Men along the way. All together now... "IT'S ALIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!"


The Monster of Frankenstein

Issue One

January 1973

Story title: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein!

Dastardly Plot
January 1898: Robert Walton IV, great-great-grandson of Robert Walton, leads a band of ‘renegades and cut-throats’ on an expedition to find the frozen remains of Frankenstein’s Monster. Fighting off a mutiny as his cowardly and superstitious crew turn on him for cursing them with his infernal quest, the Captain begins to tell the cabin boy the story of Victor Frankenstein’s evil work and the birth of his Monster. But outside his cabin a storm is whipping as is the mutinous fervor of his untrustworthy crew…

Vicious Verdict
Believing that the age of Superheroes was passing and fuelled by the success of The Tomb of Dracula Marvel continued to develop it’s line up of classic horrors, this time turning its attention to Mary Shelley’s infamous creation.
Issue one, written by Gary Friedrich with art by Mike Ploog, begins the four part adaptation of the original Frankenstein story framed within Walton IV’s doomed expedition to find the Monster.
As adaptations go, this remains remarkably loyal to the original book cramming in the creature’s creation and his subsequent blighting of the Frankenstein line into just a few pages. Then as the monster faces his creator and promises to “spin a tale of horror to chill the bones of even a monster such as” Frankenstein himself we are thrown back to 1898 and the plight of Walton’s expedition.
As most of the action is merely retelling the novel this issue does feel as if it’s treading icy water slightly and appears more literary than the later silly and to be fair, more entertaining adventures of Mr F. Monster Esq.

Favourite Frame
The Monster, wearing a fetching furry body-warmer (very Son of Frankenstein!) towers over Frankenstein declaring that he must perish for his crime against nature. You’ve also got to love the Monster’s rotting lips that stick together like stringy cheese. Nice.

Fashion Disaster
We’re still in the past so not much in the way of 70’s fashion victims yet but Frankenstein’s plaid hunters jacket doesn’t looks more 1970s to 1700’s to me…

Favourite Line
“If only I can reach my gun… and place a bullet between those ghastly eyes!’ – Victor Frankenstein

Terrifying Trivia
This wasn’t the first appearance of a Frankenstein’s Monster in the Marvel universe. Five years before the Uncanny X-Men had encountered a fraudulent Frankenstein but more about that on another day…

Maddest Small-Ad
These old comics have some bonkers old ads which sometimes can be more entertaining than the issue's themselves. This one is a doozy...
Because obviously there are times you need a goatee and haven't time to grow one. But what the Karloff is a "Van Dyke'? Is this a merkin for the guys? We need to know!

Final Rating
2 electrodes out of 5. Must try harder...


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