Mr and Mrs Scott are leaving the building

There will be no postings for the next few weeks as following my wedding day yesterday (which was an absolute dream and great fun) my wife and I are jetting off to Vegas and LA.

Bring on the sun!

X-Men 3: The Beast

And the Beast is to be played by.... Kelsey Grammer.

Bizarre...

Well, this'll be the first time he's ever been covered in hair of course...

Ha ha ha haaaaa

See what I did there?

Unbelievable

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I am a fan of Americana and I have a fondness for the States (Next weeks trip to Las Vegas will be my tenth for example). Can't get enough of the country. I love going there.

However I was flabbergasted to read this in an email from an associate of mine in the States who is complaining about a moment in Saturday's Doctor Who when the Doctor praises Great Britain for standing up against the Nazi war machine, 'One small damp island' etc etc...

The email reads:

"If the Doctor was truly a Lord of Time surely he'd know the truth, that it was the US that won the war and wouldn't spout English propaganda!"

The episode is called a 'slur on America's history'.

Pardon?

Now I know I usually write about wimsy and nonsense here but this has got my goat. What kind of history do they teach in the States? Are they really taken in by Hollywood's rewriting of events so that the US army is the the saviour of all. Yes, the US army was a real help, yes we probably needed their assistance by that point, but we had been fighting the war for a long time by then.

It's not even my generation and I've been affronted by this. Grrr. Going to sit down in a dark room to calm down.

Doctor Who: The Empty Child

Wow! Another fantastic episode of Doctor Who.

Scary gas-masks? Check!
Scary Children? Check!
Fantastically realised period setting? Check!
The Doctor finally really being Doctory? Check!
One happy bunny watching it at home? Check!

And Doctor Who had now managed to make the most comforting of everyday things terrifying... The word 'Mummy'...

Brilliant!

Fact of the Friday

Here's some patron saints...

Lighthouse keepers - St Venerius
Horses - St Giles
Taxi-drivers - St Fiacre
Editors - St John Bosco
Syphilitics - St George

"Lucky Day"

I've popped the comic strip I wrote for the short-lived horror Graveyard Shift webzine back online. Click here for 'Lucky Day'

Luddite Disabled Supervillain

Now, here's a supervillain that never took off.. Armless Tiger Man. Trust the Nazi's to send Luddite Amputee super-villians to destroy the free world.



Who else did the Third Reich have up their sleeves (as apposed to Armless Tiger Man who of course didn't have any sleeves at all!). Legless Antelope Man? Captain Missing-the-little-toe-on-his-left-foot or the Fearsome One-Testicled Fury? These are the kind of bad guys that the modern day superheroes should be fighting - let's start the campaign to bring back Armless Tiger Man today!

Who's going to print the campaign t-shirts?

Dem bones

When Pirates of the Caribbean opened in Disneyland in 1967, Pirates of the Caribbean the creative team used real human skeletons as props. One of the team behind the ride, Jason Surrell recently revealed, "Because the original Imagineering team felt that the faux skeletons of the period were just too unconvincing, the grotto sequence originally featured real human remains obtained from the UCLA Medical Center. The skeletons were later returned to their countries of origin and given a proper burial."

True Story. Shocking!

Manga Hair

Sadly we've had to suspend Duel Masters Magazine due to those pesky market conditions and so for a few months I will miss the pointy-haired Shobu...



However, I can comfort myself with new gel from Garnier called 'Manga Hair' which can make you look like your favourite mad-barneted japanese boy/girl/unearthly creature.



Now I know how to make an impression on my wedding day...

Lost in Translation

The beginning in a new irregular series highlighting translation or cultural cock-ups. I can see you're quaking in excitement!

1. Mist Stick

Clairol were very excited about their new curling iron for the german market, the 'Mist Stick'. Unfortunately no-one in their marketing department had discovered that 'mist' was slang for manure in Germany.
Suprisingly not many German ladies wanted to run the 'manure stick' through their locks.

True Story. Amazing!

May the Tat be with you...

Now here's something every gardener needs.



"Let the Dark Side defend your lawn from the ravages of summer heat or cool you off on a hot day with this Darth Vader sprinkler! Standing 10" tall, this great new Vader sprinkler spins around with water spraying action, wielding his lightsaber in a furious battle to save your lawn! Let Darth Vader be the center of your backyard universe today with this very cool garden accessory."

I'm looking forward to the Yoda gnomes. It's gotta happen...

Doctor Who: Dalek

I had my stag-do yesterday. A fun time was had by all and yes we did all look very silly dressed as Doctors by the end of the night...



Yes, well... Thanks to Danny G for making sure there were photos... I am forever in your debt ;-)

Anyway, back to the point, after stumbling home at 2.30 this morning we sat down and watched Dalek.

What a brilliant (if a little... ok a lot nerdy) way to round-up my stag-do. No being tied to a lamp-post naked and missing my eyebrows but watching my favourite baddies on my favourite TV series.

Rob mate, you wrote a stunning episode. Sheer class and classic telly. It had me cheering and whooping and sitting there at times with a lump in my throat (I'm guessing it was Dalek rather than the kebab that I had just eaten.) Plus it's the first episode of 2005 that I actually want to watch again.

So I raise a glass to Mr Rob Sherman. He's a very nice man and someone I'm very proud to be able to call a friend. He is also a complete genius and of course I am green with envy over his talent. Thanks for Dalek Rob. It was everything Doctor Who should be in the 21st Century.