Who's nicked Morrissey's hair...

LONDON, United Kingdom (Reutahs) - Police are investigating claims that new Doctor Who has stolen mournful wailer Morrissey's hair. The tenth incarnation of the Time Lord made his debut last night sporting the kind of hairstyle that is only possible with the help of 17 pots of hair-gel or an electric current being passed through one's gonads.

Doctor Who couldn't comment due to being in the midst of a post-regenerative crises but friend's close to the former Smith's frontman claim that he is beside himself. "Morrissey has been distraught since he woke up on tuesday and found that someone had nicked his Irish." said Maureen Piggywobbler (80), a member of Morrissey's bridge club, "He usually keeps it on a dummy in his bedroom. Can you imagine his shock while watching Children in Need to see Doctor Bloomin' Who wearing his hair. The poor lad is beside himself. Luckily I could lend him one of my syrups."