Rule Britannia - Taste and Toilets on the Royal Yacht

Holidays in Edinburgh. Yahoo! Already had one plate of haggis and no-one near to turn up their nose and point out what it's made of. And today we raised the flag and saluted the Royal Yacht Britannia.

It has to be said however that while she may reign victorious she obviously has no taste whatsoever. Flowery bed-covers and quite disgusting comfy-chairs to house the royal behind. No wonder Phil hasn't just a separate bed but a separate bedroom. But in case you are worried about the state of the regal marriage, the do have private phone-lines to each other.

I also wonder why they are so proud of the honeymoons on the yacht. Princess Anne's first night of marriage? Charlie and Di? Andrew and Fergie? Yup, these are all unions that lasted. Of course, it could have been the furnishings that doomed them from the beginning.

But most exciting, I had a wee on the Royal Yacht Britannia. The same ship that Her Majesty, Noel Coward and Bill Clinton all passed water. And now I can join them. To make the moment even more moving they were even piping Shirley Bassey singing 'Goldfinger' to accompany the Number One. I only wish I had taken the video camera in to preserve the experience for all time. Something to show the grandchildren.

Then again, maybe not...