Just what the world needs... another blog!

I am 31 today. At the moment I feel nearer 71 but that might have something to do with a party last night and still dancing to Sir Tom Jones at 3am. The man may be a love god with the stamina of a ox on viagra but I obviously am not. At the moment the only god I feel like it a crumbling ruin in the middle of the collapsed temple that is my body.

But I've had a good day. Clare got some lush diamond cufflinks and - wait for it - A MONKEY for my birthday. Well, she sponsored one at Monkey world. A chimp called Carli (pronounced Charlie). And even better, he's a movie star - he was in Jungle Book and made a TV show in Turkeysince 1998. I bet he's more talented than the both of the Chuckle Brothers put together. Actually saying that , my little toe is more talented than the Chuckle Brothers.

Anyway, I need to end my birthday slumped on the sofa. Here endeth the first entry. Saying that I wouldn't expect many more and I rapidly forget about these things as soon as I start them so there's every chance that this blog is more doomed (or is that doomder) than one of J'Lo's engagements.

PS. Clare has just admitted that she loves me more than cheese. I wonder if that include diary-lea?